Writing about sport over the years, I’ve come across some quirky reasons why athletes have missed games: Max King getting hit by a golf ball, Jeremy Howe playing frisbee with his dog, Jarrad Grant stepping on a stingray during a beach recovery session.

In the era before mobile phones, Garry Sidebottom missed out on Geelong’s 1981 preliminary final when he wasn’t at his usual Lara pick-up spot when the team bus drove past heading for Waverley Park.

There was the soccer player who missed a World Cup match after dropping a bottle of aftershave on his toe, or the English cricketer who got sunstroke after shaving his head.

But Fitzroy still managed to add a new chapter to the files this week when half a dozen seminal players were unavailable for selection to attend a party interstate.

So it was no surprise that when I arrived at Brunswick Street Oval the undermanned seconds team was getting a bit of a touch up. It didn’t help that Old Brighton’s Reserves included a handful of regular firsts’ players.

On a positive note, it was encouraging to see solid efforts from a few Roys who were back playing after absences: Tauber, Megennis and Bombardieri.

By the final quarter, the main focus was to see if the Twos could jag a goal, and midway through the term Savage obliged with a beauty from about 50 metres after the ball spilled to him in broken play.

The Senior team then ran out, minus McKay, Ligris and Wilson, but with handy replacements in Heath Ramshaw, Grace and Lester.

Old Brighton also ran out, and perhaps in a City of Yarra tribute to the Olympic opening ceremony they emerged from their changing room door through a waterfall from the roof of the old grandstand. The Fitzroy family is reminded that the next council election is in late October.

The match began disastrously for the Roys. Brighton flicked the ball around to set up a goal within two minutes. They crumbed another moments later and the Roys still hadn’t ventured forward of centre. Within the first 20 minutes Brighton led 33–0.

A lack of intensity, some fumbling and being beaten to the ground balls were major contributors in Fitzroy’s mauling.

The story of the remaining 100 minutes was fairly straightforward: the Roys held their own and at times controlled patches of the game. The final margin was 35 points.

This was not the first time this season that Fitzroy has given up a match-defining lead in the opening quarter and then fought their way into the game when the tempo settles. Should they play a little more defensively to begin with and become more expansive as the sting goes out of the game? Not sure.

Maybe the Roys need to revise their pre-match routine: change their warm-up exercises or run through a few midfield drills. Ye gads, should they blast out a Rocky theme, get an old-fashioned rev up, watch some inspirational footage? Does any of that stuff even help? Who knows?

I remember Neale Daniher recalling a time when Essendon coach Kevin Sheedy once screened pre-match footage of a lone protester standing in front of Chinese tanks in Tiananmen Square. Some teammates were suitably inspired and ready to charge onto the field, another leaned over to Daniher and whispered: ‘’You know they posted that bloke home in an envelope, right?’’

So will any of that stuff work? At this point it can’t hurt.

There were some noteworthy contributions on Saturday, particularly in the last three quarters.

Heath Ramshaw, Harward, Nelson and Clayton were influential through the middle, while Seakins was excellent on a wing. Lowrie, Wright and Green led a backline that battled manfully, while Hart and Lester offered an aerial contest up forward, where Kewell was among the smalls who attempted to apply pressure at ground level.

But time is running out for the Roys to extract themselves from the relegation zone. A win at home against St Kevins would help their cause and reboot some momentum.

Hopefully the special twilight time of a 4.30pm start will mean that they don’t get off to drowsy start.

Garry Gorilla

Images courtesy Phyllis Quealy